WHEN A MAN LOVES HIS WOMAN

Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure. It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment towards another. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals. In playing out love, selfishness is ruled out, you try to satisfy your partner, you don’t try to get what you want but to do what your partner wants. So love means different things at different times to different people. And in this write up, we are interested in love on the interpersonal concept especially over a man and a woman who have developed and expressed strong feelings of affection for each other. It is natural for a man to profess love to a woman and in many cases; they end up getting married as husband and wife. Good news!
A man and a woman getting married is not a guarantee that there must be love between them. Some marriages are characterized by hatred, envy, jealousy, quarrel, fight etc. Certainly by no measure this is not love. That strong emotion of attraction is found wanting and on the other way round there are homes that thrive in peace and tranquility, characterized by charity, kindness, and such virtues as understanding, patience, trust, acceptance, tolerance, etc. Such are could be found in homes where the man and woman live as friends and play mates and not as cat and dog, they live as compliments and help-meets to each other. Such homes are love personified. The love in such homes doesn’t just happen; it is a conscious decision of the man and the woman to live in one accord. It is common in homes where the man chooses to love his woman.
To the woman, to love is the ability of the man to show care and handle her like a baby. To win her heart, loving her the way she wishes to be loved. To love is to make her and to make her feel woman enough because that is the dream of every woman to be loved, cherished and appreciated in the hands of her man. Love is so beautiful and it covers all sins. When a man loves his woman, he understands her love language and sings it romantically to her best tune and this to the woman is awesome. Everybody has unique love language which is that particular gesture that makes him or her exceptionally happy his/her relationship. Such gestures as words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch are the five love languages. I listened to a woman shared her thoughts over love language. According to her, ‘I feel on top of the world whenever my man baths me.’ To such lady her love language is an act of service. While this to her is romantic experience, it may mean nothing to another lady who may say ‘what is so special about husband bathing his wife that I should feel happy?’ When a man loves his woman, he religiously understands the love language of his woman and sings same to her in his very best tune.
When a man loves his woman, he doesn’t go about bullying her for whatsoever reason. Some men are fond of fighting their wives, and this has caused some women their precious life-fight between husband and wife. Too bad! Recently, the sad news of the death of Roke Bewaji Shonde dominated the social media. Ronke, a mother of two (4 and 6 years) joined the list of young women who died untimely in the hands some senseless, irresponsible and heartless men whom in the name of ‘my husband.’ Ronke is not the first, many precious lives have been lost in this manner where someone who deserves not to live, who has no human feelings takes life wittingly. The unfortunate thing is that many are suffering in their relationships and such is only obtainable when a man does not love his woman. God made marriage for beautiful purposes-companionship, friendship, enjoying life together and not for anyone to be abused.
When a man loves his woman, he finds treasures in her and buys for her such beautiful things he sees outside. If he hasn’t the money to buy such, he becomes troubled and nurtures the dream of getting that for his lovely woman. When a man loves his woman, he surprises the woman like never before. He takes fun in surprising the innocent woman, while the woman ends up smiling like a queen of a king, and indeed she is a queen because she is loved by her king. How beautiful it is for a woman who is loved by her man; she feels exceptionally happy. She testifies among her friends the friendliness of her husband.
When a man loves his woman, he makes up his mind to compromise. He understands that romance and passion may bring people together but compromise and respect keep them forever. When a man loves his woman, he understands that there is no such thing as a perfect couple. He treats her with kindness and corrects her in love. He understands that though his woman has some weak points, yet he finds her gorgeous enough to be called a princess while rejoicing over her strength. When he is being hurt, he calls her attention and makes his feelings known to her in the most humane way and of course she makes a change and apologizes all because of love. Sometimes when he is tempted to nurse a regret, he remembers the old memories, such memories that made him marry his woman, when a man loves his woman, their bond of loves becomes unbreakable.
When a man love his woman, he sees the weakness in her yet finds her gorgeous enough, when others see the worst in her; he sees but the best in her. Though she isn’t a saint, he confesses ‘she is my great companion.’ That is the one fit to be called ‘my love.’ A man who knows how to carry his wife along is not a weakling but a powerful man. He understands that his wife needs to be appreciated and one of the ways of achieving that is not by making her a slave but by giving her a sense of belonging. When they join hands together in agreement, they chase ten thousand.
When a man loves his woman, his actions and behaviors make the woman to call him such names as my lord, my king, my hero etc. when a man loves his woman, the heart beat of the woman is normal.
Thank for your time with me. i would appreciate it if you can air your view/comment in the comment section. God bless you.
Chisom Anyanwu

THE BEST WAY TO LOVE

In the family, everybody wants to be loved. The children want to be loved by parents, aunts, friend’s in fact by anybody around them; husbands want to be loved by wives also the wives want to be loved by husbands. So everybody wants to be a love in the eyes of someone else. One thing about the insatiable desire for love is that everyone has a unique way of being loved. So what love means to a child may amount to nothing to the father. For example, going on weekend outings, visiting eateries and entertainment centers means a lot to the child while to the dad, that amounts to a waste of resources. That is the ’nonsense’ to the man but an act of love to the child. And I call such a 'nonsense' that makes sense in a relationship.
To some women, if their husbands could do such things as spending quality time with them, coming home with special parcel always, helping out in domestic chores and all that, such women will be the happiest of the moment. You would agree with me that such amounts to acts of love to such women while making 'no sense' to the man. That is what I the 'nonsense' that makes sense in a relationship.
Now to some men, if their wives could let them be after work and avoid bugging them with stories that are 'inconsequential', they would have peace at home and feel loved. Now for the women, sharing her stories with hubby amounts to love while making 'no sense' to the man. Also, some men would wish 'if my wife could just make the home look good, serve me, my best meal and experience the fun of bed, they would be happy at home. So to such men, these acts are lovely while making 'no sense' to the woman. And that is what I call the 'nonsense' that makes sense.
To the maid in a home, love also means something which may amount to nothing to the mother or father of the house. And such is the 'nonsense' that makes sense in a relationship.
When a man and his woman are hot on the bed, the woman may wish 'I wish my man could do this or that to me, I wish he could just go on caressing me without penetration, he will be the best'. And the men may be thinking 'I wish my woman would let me penetrate now that I'm up, I wish she could suck this'. While things may be splendid to Mr. A, it may amount nonsense’ to Mrs. B. And such is what I call the 'nonsense' that makes sense.
And one of the ways to entrench peace in the home is to yield to the 'nonsense' that makes sense. For example, the woman whose love language is act of service will be at peace whenever her man does such things that are service to her. While the man may not be happy doing it, the woman is smiling and takes her man to be the best. In a nut shell, the best way to love someone is to love him or her exactly the way (s)he wishes to be loved and not how I wish to love him or her. In the field of love, selfishness is ruled out.