Stronger as one body

We are stronger when we are together but weaker when we are in parts. True friendship demands forever being together and forever being faithful.

President Buhari reassures Nigerians of real change

President Buhari has enjoined Nigerians not too lose hope in the change agenda. He appreciated their for their perseverance in the midst of the hardship being faced by the people while assuring them that the change of their dream will come.
The President gave the assurance on Friday night at the 2015 Vanguard Awards in Lagos.. Speaking during the event where  he was honored with the personality of the year award 2015, Mr. President said that he was aware of the challenges Nigerians were facing at this time, resulting mostly from the fuel scarcity, poor power supply, and inflation.

''As a government that was propelled into office by the power of the people, we cannot but feel the pains of our compatriots, and we deeply empathize with them,” Mr. Buhari said in his speech. He stated that the government was “working round the clock to ease the pains of Nigerians,” claiming, “the efforts of the government have started yielding fruits as we seek to make the petroleum products available nationwide, restore gas supply to the power generating firms, reflate the economy and put Nigerians back to work.”

Buhari, who was represented by the minister of  Information and culture Lai Mohammed, said that he is aware that Nigerians the credibility of the change he promised, while some had even gone as far as saying that by voting for the All Progressives Congress (APC), Nigerians have entered “one chance.”
“Well, I can tell Nigerians that our change agenda is real, and that indeed, they will get the change they voted for. Nigerians have not entered ‘one chance’, because the ‘one chance’ drivers and their conductors have been driven out of town,” the president said.
“Change is a process, and that process has begun. The pains of today are temporary, and will soon give way to abundance joy as we put our country firmly on the path of sustainable growth and development.”
 He gave kudos to the media which he said has always stood solidly on the side of the people for the role it played during the general election that enthroned him.
“When the history of the last general elections as well as our democracy is eventually written, I have no doubt that the media will occupy a prominent place on its honour’s list. This is not a surprise, because there is no contesting the fact that from the pre-independence years through the years of independence, the various attempts at democratic governance and the years of military interregnum, the media has stood solidly on the side of the people and has fought for the national interest, without compromising its integrity,” Buhari added.

The burial of former Bayelsa state governor, Dipreye Alamiyeseigha,

Today the 9th day of April 2016, the body of the first Governor of Bayelsa state governor, Dipreye Alamiyeseigha, was laid to rest in his Amasoma town. Among the dignitaries that graced the occasion are the immediate past president of Nigeria Goodluck Jonathan who was the deputy governor under Alamiyeseigha, the Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party Alimodu Sherif, the State governor Dickson and other high ranking party members.

 May his gentle soul rest in peace, Amen

THREE BASIC PRINCIPLES FOR THE PEACE OF A HOME

In this article, I want to discuss three proven fundamental principles that foster peace, love and prosperity in the home among couples. It is in line with our core values to see that couples live in peace loving like never before and prosper in their best context.  

It is so unfortunate that the peace and love of many of our homes have become a mirage (something illusory and unattainable). Some are inverted that instead of peace and love, they have hatred and envy, instead of prospering at peak; they are declining to the cradle. No wonder many homes are in danger; the rate of divorce in our contemporary is high. As if that is not enough, partners take pride in the breaking their hearts in the name of breaking the hearts of their partners,

But that is the not original plan of God who initiated homes. God’s intention for bringing you together is that you will live in peace multiply and be fruitful

During courtship, the spirit are high, the man can do anything to please his fiancée the same with the woman. They do virtually everything together. But one year into the marriage life, the story becomes sore, the man and the woman do not sleep together anymore, if they do, they sleep in parts. I was in a marriage seminar where a woman was complaining that her husband dose not appreciate anything at all, he nags as if he is the most nagging man in town, he doesn’t buy anything for her and all sorts of that. According to her the only thing that the man is good at is going after little girls. But that is an embarrassment to your woman. What these men who chase women do not know is that they are embarrassing their wives. Your nakedness is the pride of your wife; your p*nis is her personal and hidden property which you should hold tenaciously. Sleeping with other women is a direct and indirect in way of belittling your wife, you have failed to respect her.

With apologies, any man that finds pleasure sleeping around without remorse is irresponsible. The worst is that most of these men cannot even drive the woman home sexually, because they have lost their God given driving license.  

We cannot continue like this as Christians, the peace of our homes is in our hands only if we are ready to pay the price. There is power in togetherness as a couple, if you are parted, the grace departs;

Your unity or togetherness as a couple is the greatest area of interest for the devil

Ecclesiastic 9:9 says Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. The New International Version puts it like this ‘Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun-all your meaningless days, for this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.

Any couple that is living at logjam in their marriage for whatsoever reason is messing up God divine instruction because we were asked to enjoy and to not fight, quarrel and bear seeds of hatred against each other. God brought you together to go and live and be happy and enjoy life together.

Marriage is a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. The day they started living as parts is the day the institution begins to break and the devil will start looking for ways to come in. The unity or togetherness of a couple is the main target of the devil. He is aware that as one body, you are stronger but as parts, you are weaker. When the serpent did come and deceived Eve? That was when Adam was not around. Had it been that Adam was around, the serpent may not have succeeded.

The purpose of God in marriage is that husband and wife be united. An excerpt from the Anglican Book of Common Prayer says ‘it is God’s purpose that as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they shall be united in love as Christ is united with His Church to

       ©            Comfort and help each other

       ©            Live faithfully together in need and in plenty

       ©            To know, understand and appreciate each other in love

       ©            Have children, bringing them up in the way of the Lord

       ©            Share feelings together, enhancing companionship        

Happiness of any home is a choice made by the couple. It does not just happen. Someone will swallow his ego or pride for peace at every point in time. Two wrongs cannot make a right. If the man steps on the woman’s feet and the woman decide to retaliate, they only succeeded in recording two wrongs, increasing the risk of violence, hatred and animosity. But if the woman can be bold and wise enough to bury her ego, the man as a human being will be judged by his conscience. So the woman has made a room for apology. On no account should a couple let their quarrel linger. Some people’s decision is that every quarrel must be resolved before bed time and that is pretty good. In this regard I came up with the following principle that can help to keep and foster peace and love in our homes;

The Win-Lose Principle

Every couple needs the basic understanding that marriage is not a win-win concept. And that is normal in every competition involving two teams. The two teams cannot win at the same time; it is either team A wins for team B to lose or the other way round. One of the variances as seen between a couple and a pair of competing teams is competition. Husband and wife are not competing for anything, they are one. What belongs to the man also belongs to the woman and vice versa. But when there is argument one must soft paddle for the other to land and carry the day. For example, your wife may be such that she likes it while she in the kitchen doing cooking, you stay close by listening to her stories while helping her do some menials kitchen tasks, but to you, that cannot put food on your table. The win-lose principle demands that you join her as she wishes, then she wins while you lose and the love gains momentum. So for the sake of peace, love and her joy, you have soft-pedal, bury your pride and that in no way proves you as the foolish one. To the woman, you man may be such that that hate okra soup while it has been your favorite from mother’s womb, for his sake, this principle demands that you give up liking the soup for your man to win. So the win-lose principle in marriage demands sometimes you bury what you treasure but is disliked by your partner for peace to reign.  It is such that when the woman is winning, the man is soft-pedaling,

Understanding and Singing the Love Language of My Partner

A couple is two distinct persons from a different background, with different up bringing coming together to live as one. In most cases the cultures of the environment they grew up also vary. So each person has a unique lifestyle. Love Languages in this context, is what could trigger the love of a person completely different from you. These two people that have been united have different things that can activate the love in each other. At the initial time, during courtship, the man may be singing the love language of his fiancée and same with the woman and that is why the spirit looks high. For example, when I was courting my wife, I realize she is such that appreciates it so much when I wash her ‘undies,’ and in the bit to make her happy, I do that. But after our marriage, I stopped that and I know that it did not really augur well with her. In the context of singing her love language, I had to bury my pride and promote that joy in her. So, singing the love language of your partner entails you understand those things which as a human being, could make her feel extra-ordinary happy which may not really be pleasing to you. To some women, it may be assisting them do some house chores, listening to their stories even when it may seem ‘stupid’ to you, allowing them time to visit their parent etc while to some men it may be ensuring that the house is always in order, cooking delicacies, etc.

The principle of submission and understanding

In 1Peter 3:1, 7, the bible outlines what the man and the woman should do in order to promote peace at home. The bible understands the inherent nature of man and woman, the man naturally likes being respected as the head of the home while the woman likes being cared for. If the man or the woman fails to abide by this instruction there is bound to be strife.

1  Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear, 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel- 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (1Peter 3:1, 7)

From this we understand that women’s submission to their husbands wins the heart of their men. In my house I experience such and my wife’s submission and gentles calms my nerves and makes me see reasons from her angle. That is the power of submission which defines the beauty of a woman.  Some women are so much concerned about their outward appearance while leaving behind the beauty of the heart. Each should not reign at the expense of the other.

Husbands, likewise, should deal with their wives with understanding, give honor to the wife, see them as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, so that your prayers will be heard. A husband who sleeps around has not respected his wife; a husband who beats the wife has not respected the wife but has promoted seed of discord and disunity.

Peace which is supreme is in our hands; please do give peace a chance in your home.

A step forward one after the other is a sure guarantee for of a thousand mile. irrespective of the pace what is important is our moving in the dream target. Once we are moving forward in the dream direction, we're not failures. Keep moving at the most effective and available pace.

The Best of Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Every day has its troubles, it is not wise carrying over yesterdays' when I'm not done with today's troubles. Yesterday is gone, today is here, tomorrow is next I will keep yesterday and its lessons just beside me, make best use of today's opportunity and prepare for tomorrow while it comes- UdoChukwu's inspirational concept.

No gain settling for a life you are not called for

In deed there is no gain settling for a life of what you have been called to be it rather brings about, life of frustration frustration

Gay marriages responsibile for many of the probblems around the globe-Bishop Emmanuel

A cross section of the Bishops during the 2016 Synod of the diocese in Maiduguri

The Bishop of the Anglican Diocese of Maiduguri, the Rt. Rev Emmanuel Kanamani has stated that gay marriages is the key factor that is behind so many problems in the world. The Bishop stated this during the 2016 Synod of the diocese in Maiduguri on 8th of April 2016. Describing the act as “madness of the highest order” the cleric regretted that those who reject gay marriage were regarded as primitive people.

According to the Bishop, “If men marry men and women marry women then who will give birth to the next generation. They said it is freedom, but I assure you it will render negative effect to the entire society,’’

THE USE OF INFORMATION COMMUNICATION AND TECHNOLOGY FOR EFFECTIVE MINISTRY

The church of Nigeria, Anglican Communion is holding their 2016 annual leaders conference at St Paul’s Cathedral Church, Diobu, Port-Harcourt. I was opportune to be in one of the seminar session where Venerable John C. Adubasim talked about THE USE OF INFORMATION COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY FOR EFFECTIVE MINISTRY. I know he did justice to that within the time frame allotted and I found it interesting.

At this time it may not be surprising that some people do not appreciate the use of ICT in effective ministry yet they indirectly take part and benefit from ICT. Someone during the session asked why some people would prefer the use of such gadgets as the IPAD, telephones to read the bible instead of using the hard copy that has been in evoke? May be this persons finds the use ICT in that regards uninteresting. But thanks to God for the clarifications by the man of God who explained that there is no harm about that instead those gadgets bring comfort and to give a sense of belonging to someone, he encouraged any one bound to use them to make room for alternatives. 

There was a particular church which ones condemned the use of Television but recently, the general overseer of the church averred that he would reverse all the wrong teachings he has taught his congregation before he dies. It is not surprising that some denominations still hold such views tenaciously, that the use of TV and the internet is demonic since it exposes people to different evil practices. All the same, I pray that God will reveal the truth to them and make them to appreciate the place of ICT in effective ministry.

According to Venerable John Adubasim, the effective use of information and communication technology in effective ministry touches such areas as;

Enhancing the worship experience

Branding the local church, giving the local church a name, making the content of the local church the best of its kind and projecting it to the world village, the massage is the same; find the best available means within the locale to project the gospel. In this content, what works in Lagos may not work in your community, but it is the same gospel that is being passed to the people in Lagos and the people in your community. So effective use of ICT in the context of branding the local church entails finding out how best to communicate to the people of your community, the gospel of Christ. You must not use the Lagos method of communication in your area not minding how beautiful it may look

Communicating with the congregation; for effective use of ICT in the ministry, the leader must fine means of regular communication with his congregation. It is confirmed that a good number of the people in the congregation visits the church only once a week-on Sundays. Some may not come, as a leader you cannot allow these once to wallow. You have to find a way of reaching them. Do not be surprise that most of them may be interested in the gospel but for work schedules. Take for example a leader who has a member that is an offshore worker. He work is programmed in such a way that he is four weeks in and a week out of filed. As a leader you can still reach such a member in social media still to pass the message to him. Besides, there are people that may not be attentive while the message is on, for such people ICT has made it possible to pass the gospel beyond the fore walls of the worship center. For effectiveness in ministry, the leader can also use ICT to communicate with his members at regular r intervals.

Other points he raised are, extending the size of the congregation, proliferating the message and becoming a world church.

The place of ICT in today’s evangelism cannot be overlooked, and anyone who sees ICT from the negative perspective has not prepared to effectively minister to his congregation. Thank you Venerable John, more power to your elbows

there have been cases  maternal death during cbildbirth mainly due to refusal of the woman and her huby to accept Doctors recommendation for a C-section. Child birth is natural ddesigned to be by varginal or through the C-section. In some case, the woman may recommend to the Dorctor her prefered method which the doctor may or may not concent to after his considerations. It is observed that in developed contries, women a particular methed to their doctors. There also situations where the doctor will suggest to his patient the viable and safer method due to complications, emergencies or situation at hand. in such cases, it may not really pleased the expecting mom but for her safety and that of her baby she had no option than to give her concent. for example, there are situations that a woman has tried to give birth throough the vergina but couldn't for reasons best know to her medical team and C-section was recommended which she responded Godforbid. this is not the first of its kind in Africa. the common african woman sees child birth through Cs-section as a taboo. but this is wrong. many women have lost their lives during child bearing simply because they refused to consent to a particular method recommended by her team.
but we cannot continue like this, it is high time our women understand that during childbirth what is paramount is her life and the life of her precious baby. We cannot continue to lose such precious lives because of a simple thing. I know there never be such time as when someone would run to meet a lady anywhere only to raise her clothing to observe if she is a C-section mom or mom. Never. even a mad man on the street cannot try such. it is high time our women star viewing C-section from the positive angle
unaguably it has its risks such as pains, infections, adhension, bloodcloth,e tc, it equaly has its benefits such as
Can be more convenient for a woman and reduce her stress about anticipation of labor

Possible decreased risk of incontinence

Possible decreased risk of sexual dysfunction for first three months postpartum

Reduced risk of oxygen deprivation to baby during delivery

Reduced risk of birth trauma to baby sometimes sustained from passing through birth canal, or from forceps or vacuum extraction

Women feel a greater sense of control knowing when their baby will be born, and can plan for family help, a baby nurse, furniture delivery, work leave, and so forth.

I saw a young man who was shedding tears proufusely following the death of his dear wife. a relative of the couple was describing how dear the couple are to each other. such that describe as best friends.
the cause if the death was complication from child birth, shehas been in labour for three days her doctor told her that the best available option is to undergo Cesarean which she shouted 'God forbid' after her doctoer had suggested that. I learnt that they called their Pastor who was praying with her even on phone. But at the long last, the unfortunate thing happened by the time they had given their conscent,
the common African woman sees child birth through Ceserean section as a taboo. and this particular idea has cost the life of many.


No matter what type of birth you’re planning (and hoping) for, you shouldn’t rule out the possibility of a Cesarean section. Expected or not, there is no substantial reason why child birth through C-section should be viewed from a negative angle. what should be paramount to the paries involved is the life of the mother and that of the baby. there never be a time someone would see a C-section mom walking on the road or anywhere else and the man would run to her only to raise up her clothings unpermitted to observe if she has realy had such experience before.
ACCORDING a report from Wikipedia, In some countries, C-section procedures are used more frequently than is necessary, and consequently governments and health organizations promote programs to reduce the use of C-section in favor of vaginal delivery.
Both C-section and varginal have their risks

Caesarean section is recommended when vaginal delivery might pose a risk to the mother or baby. C-sections are also carried out for personal and social reasons. Systematic reviews have found no strong evidence about the impact of caesareans for non-medical reasons


A caesarean section is an operation during which an obstetrician makes a cut through your belly and uterus (womb), to allow your baby to be born.

A caesarean is the most common type of major surgery that women have. In the UK, about one in four pregnant women has a baby by caesarean every year.

A planned (elective) caesarean is scheduled to take place before your labour begins. Just over 40 per cent of caesarean births in the UK are planned.

An emergency caesarean is unplanned, and can happen if:

A C-section is the surgical delivery of a baby that involves making incisions in the mother's abdominal wall and uterus. Generally considered safe, C-sections do have more risks than vaginal births. Plus, you can come home sooner and recover quicker after a vaginal delivery.

Bizarre! A mother got pregnant for her 15year old son

A mom in Vietnam is reported pregnant for her 15 year old son. According to the lady on her Facebook page, she had the feeling for her son

“I explained everything to him and got him to understand and he felt the same way as I did as he began to ask questions. He asked “so does that mean that we can kiss and hold hands like boyfriend and girlfriend?”I told him yes and even s*x.

The Facebook post reads (edited):

“For those you who don’t know, my 15 year old son and I, had a baby last year together. I had s*x with him when he was 14 years old.  “The baby came out fine. Just to let you know I also have three (3) daughters who are thirteen(13) fourteen(14) and sixteen(16). 

“My son is a great dad and also a great boyfriend to me. This all started when I realized that I was having  feelings for him. I decided to have a one on one talk with him. I told him ‘mommy loves you more than what it means to just be a mommy to you’ I also told him that “mommy likes you just like how a girl from school likes you.’

“I explained everything to him and got him to understand and he felt the same way as I did as he began to ask questions. He asked “so does that mean that we can kiss and hold hands like boyfriend and girlfriend?”I told him yes and even s*x.

 

 

MY MAN HAS REFUSED TO GIVE IT TO ME AS I DESIRE

I just read the story of a pregnant woman who was complaining of her husband’s inability to satisfy her sexual urge at the same time seeking for people’s opinion on how to handle the situation. According to the lady who is 21 weeks pregnant, she has recently developed high urge for sex. Consequently, she opened up to her hubby and asked him to increase the number of meeting times. But the man being ‘compassionate’ enough promised a maximum of three times a week because of her safety and that of their baby. People responded very well with each person giving his version of what the couple should and should not do. While some were of the opinion that the man should respond positively to his wife’s request, the others were accusing the woman of promiscuity and demanded that she nip the bud and allow the man to decide.

In my view, I think the lady needs a form of commendation. In our society today, the majority of our women feel that it is solely the responsibility of the man (the husband) to initiate sex. Even when they (the women) have developed the urge, they would rather remain silent; waiting for the time the man will make the move. That to me is wrong. When you are married, the two has become one, there should be this open minded principle, couple should not unnecessarily be feeling shy in the presence of their partner, that body becomes his property as soon as you are joined together so also his body turns out to be hers. When the urge is there, common dance to the tunes, make the unusual move and stop dying in silence. If you were hiding the feelings when you were single, of what need is it to do same when levels have changed. So to me, the ‘pregy’ lady receives my thumbs up.

Then for the people that were condemning she for speaking out, I don’t think there was need for that. Any where most of them I observed were single ‘inexperienced’ ladies. Now to the best of my knowledge, pregnancy is the pride of a man and I know many people are looking forward to that. But it has its ups and down, coming with lots of pains at different times. One thing about it is that this week you feel different from the way you are going to feel by the next week. Today you may feel like eating okra soup but by tomorrow you may hate the same soup with passion, toady you would feel like having your man lots of times but by tomorrow it seems a risky moment. But all these are the joy of it. The man is expected to understand with his wife and play the palliative role every time.

So to me, if much time sex is what this lady and her pregnancy requires, ah! The man should not hesitate to give it to her as much as she desires, so long as the safety of the baby and her mama is guaranteed.