The power your of potential

Two things define a man-his patience when has nothing and his attitude when he has everything. When he has nothing, does he muster the patience and courage to be faithful for a brighter tomorrow? Recently I had a chat with a young man; he recently took a decision to go into scamming simply because he lost his job two months earlier. He may not be the man alone in this line of action. To some women, they may decide to go into prostitution or any other illegal business proving that the patience to wait is not there. But what such people do not understand is that they are by far better than many people. Have you realized that as you are, there are people that are craving to be where you are? Some though they have nothing, yet they are strong and healthy. To some others, they may have everything yet they travel abroad on a weekly basis for their medical routines.
I was having a chat with the accountant of a hotel I lodged in at Yenegoua in Bayelsa state, when I teased her that ‘ah Rachael you are looking so good’ she said ‘Mr. Chisom, please don’t mind me’. She opened up and told me what she is passing through. She said upon that people crave to be where she is. But that is the irony of life. I remember one common song that says some have food but they cannot eat, some can eat but have no food. So if you have this, you may not have that. Nobody owns it all. It is never a perfect world. Do you remember the common expression, if I were you, but you that are this you, have you appreciated the person that you are?

See, you don’t need to waste any time thinking, ‘how I wish I am a son to Dangote, or how I wish I am this or that.’ There are capacities impeded in you that are lacking in those people of the world. The good news is that those are the capacities lacking in the world. Look at Mark Zuckerberge the CEO of the world social network-Facebook. This man did not waste his precious time looking for one salaried job or anything like that. He knew there is something in him that the world is in dire need of-socialization and invented that. now his potential has made him a world changer. The world’s richest people are people that have launched into their capacities, people that are self employed and not people that are working for a multinational company or for the US government. When you look around, you will discover that among the people that work for government of great nations like the US, no matter how fame they may be, they cannot be compared with the fame of such people as Bill Gate the American business magnet, Aliko Dangote the African richest man for years and the likes. See your potential can project you far above this planet. Dangote once was like nobody, he discovered his potentials and launched into it, today he is at the peak. Ngozi Chimamanda was not born a successful writer, she thought of what she could be, and launched into it and today she is a voice to be recon on. There is a potential in you,
Times of Challenges in life are the time to step on a high and never a time to regret anything. It is a time is to move from the ordinary man you used to be to the extraordinary person you are dreaming to be. Challenging times are both fortunate and unfortunate times depending on your perspective; yes your angle of perspective. If you see that as a fortunate situation, then you are viewing where you will be. You take into action. But if you see that as an unfortunate situation, so it will be. Then you would regret everything which would have turned good around you. When you are faced with challenging times, what do people around you notice- a weeping man or a prospective successful man? Such people lack the patience to work and hold unto a better tomorrow.  What is your patience and attitude when you have nothing?
Your attitude when you have everything is so important in defining who you are. What is your relationship with your security or maid or even your house cleaners. Do you see them as humans or as the ‘ordinary’? Do they see you as a boss and a brother or do they liken you to a boss and a traitor.  If attitudes when we have everything are not checked, everything around us notes that we are controlled by wealth. Of course, what goes around comes around.

PEACE OF A HOME-THREE RESPONSIBLE BASIC PRINCIPLES

In this article, I want to discuss three proven fundamental principles that foster peace, love and prosperity in the home among couples. It is in line with our core values to see that couples live in peace, loving like never before and prosper in their best context .

It is so unfortunate that the peace and love of many of our homes have become a mirage (something illusory and unattainable). Some are inverted that instead of peace and love, they have hatred and envy, instead of prospering at peak; they are declining to the cradle. No wonder many homes are in danger; the rate of divorce in our contemporary is high. As if that is not enough, partners take pride in breaking the hearts of each other in the name of dealing with their partners,

But that is the not original plan of God who initiated homes. God’s intention for bringing you together is that you will live in peace multiply and be fruitful.

During courtship, the spirit are high, the man can do anything to please his fiancée the same with the woman. They do virtually everything together. But one year into the marriage life, the story becomes sore, the man and the woman do not sleep together anymore, if they do, they sleep in parts. I was in a marriage seminar where a woman was complaining that her husband dose not appreciate anything at all, he nags as if he is the most nagging man in town, he doesn’t buy anything for her and all sorts of that. According to her the only thing that the man is good at is going after little girls. But that is an embarrassment to your woman. What these men who chase women do not know is that they are embarrassing their wives. Your nakedness is the pride of your wife; your p*nis is her personal and hidden property which you should hold tenaciously. Sleeping with other women is a direct and indirect in way of belittling your wife, you have failed to respect her.

With apologies, any man that finds pleasure sleeping around without remorse is irresponsible. The worst is that most of these men cannot even drive the woman home sexually, because they have lost their God given driving license.  

We cannot continue like this as Christians, the peace of our homes is in our hands only if we are ready to pay the price. There is power in togetherness as a couple, if you are parted, the grace departs;

Your unity or togetherness as a couple is the greatest area of interest for the devil

Ecclesiastic 9:9 says Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. The New International Version puts it like this ‘Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun-all your meaningless days, for this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.

Any couple that is living at logjam in their marriage for whatsoever reason is messing up God divine instruction because we were asked to enjoy and to not fight, quarrel and bear seeds of hatred against each other. God brought you together to go and live and be happy and enjoy life together.

Marriage is a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. The day they started living as parts is the day the institution begins to break and the devil will start looking for ways to come in. The unity or togetherness of a couple is the main target of the devil. He is aware that as one body, you are stronger but as parts, you are weaker. When the serpent did come and deceived Eve? That was when Adam was not around. Had it been that Adam was around, the serpent may not have succeeded.

The purpose of God in marriage is that husband and wife be united. An excerpt from the Anglican Book of Common Prayer says ‘it is God’s purpose that as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they shall be united in love as Christ is united with His Church to

       ©            Comfort and help each other

       ©            Live faithfully together in need and in plenty

       ©            To know, understand and appreciate each other in love

       ©            Have children, bringing them up in the way of the Lord

       ©            Share feelings together, enhancing companionship        

Happiness of any home is a choice made by the couple. It does not just happen. Someone will swallow his ego or pride for peace at every point in time. Two wrongs cannot make a right. If the man steps on the woman’s feet and the woman decide to retaliate, they only succeeded in recording two wrongs, increasing the risk of violence, hatred and animosity. But if the woman can be bold and wise enough to bury her ego, the man as a human being will be judged by his conscience. So the woman has made a room for apology. On no account should a couple let their quarrel linger. Some people’s decision is that every quarrel must be resolved before bed time and that is pretty good. In this regard I came up with the following principle that can help to keep and foster peace and love in our homes;

The Win-Lose Principle

Every couple needs the basic understanding that marriage is not a win-win concept. And that is normal in every competition involving two teams. The two teams cannot win at the same time; it is either team A wins for team B to lose or the other way round. One of the variances as seen between a couple and a pair of competing teams is competition. Husband and wife are not competing for anything, they are one. What belongs to the man also belongs to the woman and vice versa. But when there is argument one must soft paddle for the other to land and carry the day. For example, your wife may be such that she likes it while she in the kitchen doing cooking, you stay close by listening to her stories while helping her do some menials kitchen tasks, but to you, that cannot put food on your table. The win-lose principle demands that you join her as she wishes, then she wins while you lose and the love gains momentum. So for the sake of peace, love and her joy, you have soft-pedal, bury your pride and that in no way proves you as the foolish one. To the woman, you man may be such that that hate okra soup while it has been your favorite from mother’s womb, for his sake, this principle demands that you give up liking the soup for your man to win. So the win-lose principle in marriage demands sometimes you bury what you treasure but is disliked by your partner for peace to reign.  It is such that when the woman is winning, the man is soft-pedaling,

Understanding and Singing the Love Language of My Partner

A couple is two distinct persons from a different background, with different up bringing coming together to live as one. In most cases the cultures of the environment they grew up also vary. So each person has a unique lifestyle. Love Languages in this context, is what could trigger the love of a person completely different from you. These two people that have been united have different things that can activate the love in each other. At the initial time, during courtship, the man may be singing the love language of his fiancée and same with the woman and that is why the spirit looks high. For example, when I was courting my wife, I realize she is such that appreciates it so much when I wash her ‘undies,’ and in the bit to make her happy, I do that. But after our marriage, I stopped that and I know that it did not really augur well with her. In the context of singing her love language, I had to bury my pride and promote that joy in her. So, singing the love language of your partner entails you understand those things which as a human being, could make her feel extra-ordinary happy which may not really be pleasing to you. To some women, it may be assisting them do some house chores, listening to their stories even when it may seem ‘stupid’ to you, allowing them time to visit their parent etc while to some men it may be ensuring that the house is always in order, cooking delicacies, etc.

The principle of submission and understanding

In 1Peter 3:1, 7, the bible outlines what the man and the woman should do in order to promote peace at home. The bible understands the inherent nature of man and woman, the man naturally likes being respected as the head of the home while the woman likes being cared for. If the man or the woman fails to abide by this instruction there is bound to be strife.

1  Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear, 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel- 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (1Peter 3:1, 7)

From this we understand that women’s submission to their husbands wins the heart of their men. In my house I experience such and my wife’s submission and gentles calms my nerves and makes me see reasons from her angle. That is the power of submission which defines the beauty of a woman.  Some women are so much concerned about their outward appearance while leaving behind the beauty of the heart. Each should not reign at the expense of the other.

Husbands, likewise, should deal with their wives with understanding, give honor to the wife, see them as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, so that your prayers will be heard. A husband who sleeps around has not respected his wife; a husband who beats the wife has not respected the wife but has promoted seed of discord and disunity.

Peace which is supreme is in our hands; please do give peace a chance in your home.

Wasted Years

I have come to realize that no year is wasted in the life of any great mind. The years that seem to be wasted to me are not wasted rather they represent the moments of greatest learning. I have heard people say ‘just look at me and how I wasted four or five years in the University studying this or that. I would have used those precious years to learn a thread and shoot my talented career to the apex.’
I have a friend and a course mate in the university who at present works with an electric power generation company. The last time I spoke with him, he was still lamenting after eight years of graduating from the university, of how he hated the Metallurgical and Materials Engineering he studied, as a course. If for no other cause, I know that at least  it is the certificate of the ‘hated course’ that has enabled him to work in such place yet he has continued to lament and tag those years as 'wasted.'
But are these years really wasted? I am not of that view, I believe they have great lessons of their times to offer, they have helped in molding the person we are, helped in projecting us to the point we know what best to do. You know what? The people that regret do that without compromise and if anyone wastes today regretting yesterday, the risk that he would waste tomorrow regretting today without identifying what he has benefited from the day is there. Failures to me are not failures but the best point to learn and no one should be afraid of them because they make us a better we. Every day brings about its troubles, learning points and lots of goodies as well. It is not wise carrying over yesterdays' when I'm not done with today's troubles. Yesterday is gone, today is here, and tomorrow is next I will keep yesterday and its lessons just beside me; make best use of today's opportunity and prepare for tomorrow while it comes.

My marriage will be a quite one-D'banj

Nigerian singer- and Hip Hop star (Oladapo Daniel Oyebanjo (popularly known as D'banj,) has said that he would marry secretly and that his wife would not seek for fame as his fame is enough for his family. This was disclosed in an interview with PREMIUM TIMES’ Tunde Eludini, he was quoted as saying
“Who said I am not married? I would tell you the truth, I am not married but if I am, nobody would hear about it. It is going to be a very quiet wedding because I am tired of people asking me that question. It is my personal life and it is not going to change my music or brand.”
“I am not going to get married just because people want me to, neither would I do it just to enter another phase of my life just like some of my colleagues have done. They make it seem as if once you are married you have retired. But that should not be the case. Marriage would not change anything about me and whenever it happens, nobody would hear about it, there would only be speculations. My wife would not be seeking for fame because the one I have is already enough for all my family members. When I get married, it would be a very quiet one. Who knows, it might have already happened.”
He said optimistically that he could hold his show in Borono only if security is given extreme attention. ‘I can do a show in Borno, why not? People still live there. The only thing is that the security will be extremely important and tight.’
D’banj promised his fans that his next album which is in the making will be out before the end of the year. “The next album is in the works. We have done a couple of listening sessions on a number of songs and I think the next step is to invite a few journalists to listen in too because I have got a whole catalog of songs yet to be released. I was in South Africa with some executives who were listening to some songs. By God’s grace an album should be coming out before the end of this year.”

Buying and selling of fuel and other petroleum products banned

The Inspector General of Police Solomon Arase has indirectly banned the selling and or buying of fuel or any other petroleum products in plastic containers by ordering the immediate arrest of persons in the business.
This was contained in a statement released by the police spokesperson Olabisi Kolawole, who said the Police IG gave the directive to forestall the suffering and hazards coming from the black marketing business. He also warned fueling stations to restrain from selling petrol inside Jerry-cans or plastic containers.
The police IG promised Nigerians that the Police will fulfill their constitutional mandate and appealed for a cordial relationship between the police and the people.

The Most Rev. Nicholas D. Okoh, emerges new Chairman GAFCON Primates council

The Most Rev. Nicholas D. Okoh, Primate of the Anglican Church of All Nigeria has emerged the new Chairman of the Primates’ council of the Global Anglican Future Conference (GAFCON). The Primate takes over from the Most Revd. Eliud Wabukala, the Primate of the Church of Kenya. Also elected with him in leadership is the new vice-chair, the Most Rev. Stanley Ntagali, Primate of the Anglican Church of Uganda. Archbishops Okoh and Ntagali have been deeply committed to the GAFCON movement since its founding, and are well prepared to lead.
The election of Primate Okoh was held at the meeting of the Primates of the GAFCON. One of the major resolutions taken was to remove every obstacle that could debar the preaching of the gospel. A statement released from the Primate’s meeting held at All Saints Cathedral Nairobi, Kenya said that the weeklong meeting was aimed at how GAFCON could work to guard and proclaim the unchanging, transforming Gospel through Biblical faithful preaching, teaching, and programs. According to them, this will free the Church to make true disciples of all nations. High lights of the event include planning for the GAFCON 2018, giving approval to programs that will facilitate Bishops training, good news for provinces and transition in Primates’ leadership.
Present at the meeting were representatives from ten provinces: Congo, Kenya, Myanmar, Nigeria, North America, Rwanda, South America, South Sudan & Sudan, Tanzania, Uganda and two branches- Australia and the United Kingdom.
The meeting which started on 18th of April ended on the 21st of April 2016. The next GAFCON meeting is scheduled to hold in 2018.