Moral Decadence, Parents and the society

Every society has it norms and acceptable values no wonder we have in Igbo land ‘omenala’ that is the do’s and don’ts of the land. When the people of the land become fond of the don’ts instead of the dos, it becomes moral decadence among the people of the land. In the days past, immorality is dreaded but these days it has assumed a way of life. Today in our society, the level of moral decadence is appalling and to me that calls for an emergency response and for concern. The young ones do not show respect for the elders any more, such vices as premarital sex, truancy, indecent dressing, cultism, stealing, fighting and killings, Drug abuse, examination malpractices are common among the youth.  They can do anything in front of anyone without fear or favor. They can engage in all sorts of anti social behavior which are not acceptable ways of life. I was in a pool the other day where a boy of about 21 years and a girl of about 18 were making love without fear. They had nothing to hide but were proud doing what they were doing. That is Westernization, borrowing a culture that is different from yours which is may be harmful in your context. This is not an acceptable norm in our society. Moral decadence has eaten deep into our young ones and in the years to come the consequences is unthinkable.

I have noticed a new trend I call marriage before wedding proper. This is a situation where a young lady will live with a man as if she has become a legal wife of the man. You are not a wife until your dowry is paid, until your parents give their consent. The lady cooks for him, allows him sleep with her enjoying the full evidence of marriage life. How dare you? How dare you let a man sleep with you for a paltry ice cream? We don’t know the worth of our virginity and sex life. It is the pride of your husband which money cannot buy. How dare you? A lot of hearts of such people are broken. Why not when the man has gotten what he wants? Why won’t he ask you out of his house, why won’t he call you names and abuse you when you have lost your value? Why won’t he kick you out of his house?

A lot of things have contributed to the level of moral decadence in our society among them are attempts to borrow a culture that is alien to yours, friendship, associations lack of parental cares, failure of the religious bodies to inculcate values into their worshipers, etc

What the child becomes is a function of the family upbringing. What I am saying in effect is that what a child is is what his family trained him to be. No wonder the bible says train up a child in the way he should grow and when he is, he will not depart from it. Some parents will lament that their children have outgrown them that they do not take instructions from them anymore.

An adage says that okra cannot outgrow its owner. Your child no matter how stubborn he may be cannot be stubborn to the extent he cannot be controlled. Note there is the right time for that-while he is tender. Your five year old child should not be sleeping, playing, resting or watching the television while the maid is in busy attaining to all the house chores of the home. That should be the time to let the child know or teach him how to attend to house chores. He cannot learn those things at his twenties. You cannot learn left-handedness at old age (anaghi amu aka ikpa n’nka). We need to make a time table for the kids. They should have time to play, time to study, time to rest and all the likes.

The power of association; the child cannot be different from the friends he keeps. Friends at tender age have a great influence in the life of a child. The common expression-show me whom you follow and I will tell you who you are is a true expression. If the child goes out with people that smoke, the child cannot be different from a smoker; if he goes with womanizers he cannot be different from a womanizer.

Religious bodies also have a lot of role to play. It is another place that can influence the life of a child since societal and religious ways of life are being thought. Parents need to make their children take active part in their religious activities. It is not surprising that some parents instead prefer to take their children to parties, pubs. How can that child be different from a drunkard? Our primary responsibility is to give our children good upbringing and that begins at tender.

It pays to give the child a good upbringing and I enjoin our parents to know that it is their responsibility to give the child a good upbringing. It pays to the society at large.